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…there have been times that conversation with a Black person somehow turns to the topic of inequality…I have no way of truly knowing all the privilege that I enjoy as a white, straight male. You get the feeling that they don’t believe you wanna be their friend. She makes some amazing points, but it’s up to Black and Proud now.When you want to be friends with them at work but there are other black girls so you just can’t get close cuz ur just the white girl who is held at arms length. How can I regain my sexual attraction for my husband?Ĭheck Out Essence for Abiola’s response. Please tell me racial slurs aren’t normal between interracial couples? I would like to figure this out before we have kids but I can’t afford to leave him and still maintain my lifestyle. My husband was my first interracial relationship. I love my husband deeply so please don’t tell me to leave him because that’s not what I want to do. Our sex life is pretty much over right now because I pretend to be asleep every time my sexy, handsome man wants to be with me.
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I am too embarrassed to tell anyone about this because I know they might say: “That’s what she gets for marrying a White man.”Įvery time we try having sex again, the slurs fly. I don’t use the word or believe in the nigga/nigger differentiation.
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He also asked why Black people can use the word and he cannot. I told him that I don’t appreciate these comments and he says that my friends and family probably use the n-word all the time. He called it my “negro bush” and referred to himself as a “nigger lover.” He says I am being overly sensitive because he loves me to death and should get a “Black pass” for marrying me. He also speculated about whether his family could have owned mine because I have “good hair.” Then he made jokes about my pubic hair. Another time he joked that he had purchased my freedom. When I reacted negatively, he explained that a Black woman he dated in the past enjoyed being called racial slurs. The first time he let the n-word drop was during sex on our honeymoon. I am a little embarrassed to share our problem. He courted me and I never have to pay for anything. Unlike all of the Black men I dated in the past, my husband is generous, loyal, committed and considerate. He wines and dines me and we travel and shop the globe. We have the picture perfect fantasy life. We met at a reunion for the ivy league school we both attended, and he proposed in six months. I am a first generation Black-American woman whose family is from the island of Jamaica. My investment banker husband is from a White old money family. I have been married for a year and I am at my wit’s end. My man keeps calling me a “nigger bitch” during sex and I hate it. Black and Proud can’t take it anymore and decided to publicly ask for help. He also refers to himself as a “n*gger lover” and thinks it’s hilarious when he continually throws that hate-filled word around in his wife’s presence.
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It’s these lavish gifts that Black and Proud’s husband showers her in that allow him to joke about buying her freedom. I wonder if he’d said it during their expensive dates, would Black and Proud have married him? Also, her husband waited until their honeymoon to drop the n-bomb on his wife. Although cliche, love is supposed to conquer all, but in this case, bigotry is an obstacle worth kicking over instead of conquering. The first thing I thought was to blame Black and Proud for marrying this ivy league White man, but then I realized, you can’t fault who you love. Must Read: Does It Matter When & How You Lose Your Virginity? īlack and Proud’s husband delights in calling his beautiful Black wife, “n*gger bitch” during sex and it’s taken away her desire to have sex with him.